


It's All Alright

by shesbreathless



Series: schmico codas [10]
Category: Grey's Anatomy
Genre: M/M, Making Up, mature conversations are the way to go, post 15x22
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-26
Updated: 2019-04-26
Packaged: 2020-02-04 16:52:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,110
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18608620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shesbreathless/pseuds/shesbreathless
Summary: “Good morning,” Nico is the first to speak. “I think an apology is due.”A temporary continuation to episode 15x22, the morning after the fight.





	It's All Alright

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to post this tomorrow, but then Alex did [this](https://www.instagram.com/p/BwtAMgzBjs6/) and Jake did [this](https://www.instagram.com/p/BwsOkFjjB-C/) on instagram, so I couldn't wait anymore lol

Sweat is dripping down Levi’s back when he wakes up. He gasps and throws the duvet off himself, eyes grudgingly opening and then immediately shutting again when the early morning sunlight coming in from the window blinds him.

For a short couple of seconds, Levi feels nothing but the cool air coming in contact with his overheated skin. He basks in the feeling and almost manages to go back to sleep, at least until Nico shifts in the bed next to him.

What feels like the whole world comes crashing back down on Levi, the heavy weight settling itself back where it had been last night, and the memories of what a horrible day yesterday was rush back into Levi’s head.

There is no point in keeping on pretending he’s comfortable anymore, so Levi cracks open both of his eyes and looks around the room. It’s just turned 8 am, and nothing is different, not even the shape of Nico with his limbs tangled in the sheets. He’s not sure why he was expecting it to be.

With a sigh and a grunt, Levi pushes himself up and off the bed and stumbles into the bathroom, forgoing turning on the lights and instead twisting the shower knobs until water that’s way too hot starts flowing out.

He takes off the clothes he slept in and steps into the dark shower, standing under the spray with his head tilted back and just letting the water wash over him for a few seconds.

After a good night’s sleep, he thought he’d be well rested and his head would feel clearer, but the reality is that he feels even worse. His mind has had time to process everything that happened, but he doesn’t feel like he’s caught up with it.

San Francisco, great surgery, dead patient, words that hurt probably way more than they should have. The succession of events keeps playing itself in Levi’s mind, but it still doesn’t make sense how such an ordinary day could turn so sour, so fast.

He’s not taking it personally, not really. Fortunately, he’s able to see how Nico’s words and actions were completely dictated by how distraught he was by what happened, but that doesn’t mean he could just ignore how they made him feel.

And what even is that? Is he offended? Sad? Angry? A mix of all of them? Does he even care, actually?

He starts thinking about how he wants to tackle the discussion that they’re inevitably going to have. Does he just want to get it over with and forgive everything, or would that be acting too much like a doormat? Should he get mad and scream, or would that be insensitive, considering what happened?

Levi snorts, shaking his head at the thoughts flurrying around in his head. He’s making it way harder than it actually is, and that’s really not what he needs right now.

He turns off the knob, wringing his hair to get most of the water out of it, then steps out of the shower and into the steam-filled bathroom. In the dark, he feels like he’s walking around in a dream. Or maybe a nightmare.

Ugh, that’s being too dramatic, even for his standards. He knows it’ll eventually be okay, they just need to get through today. He takes a deep breath to calm him down, then tiptoes back into the bedroom to grab a pair of clean change of clothes, and finally leaves for the kitchen.

His stomach grumbles while he considers his options for breakfast, so he forgoes anything that includes cooking or any preparation time above thirty seconds. He opens the creaky cabinet and takes out a bowl and the cereal he had brought here on his own.

He’s resolutely trying not to think about how he can see the flowers in the vase in the living room, and how much that makes his insides twist.

After fixing himself an almost overflowing bowl of cereal, he walks with it to the couch and heavily sits down on it, pulling his legs up to cross them and eating in silence.

He looks around at the room, and just like the bedroom, it looks exactly like it did every other time. He doesn’t feel like turning on the tv, so he leans his head back and shoves spoonful after spoonful of cereal in his mouth, closing his eyes and only focusing on the loud crunch.

He’s never been in a situation like this. He’s never had somebody to fight with, so he has no idea what is acceptable or normal and what isn’t. He just knows he wants to stop feeling like this.

Levi can tell that Nico is up even before he stumbles down the stairs, rubbing his eyes and yawning. He watches his eyebrows rise in surprise when he notices Levi on the couch, and he studies his expression as he decides to sit down next to him, against the armrest.

Neither of them says anything for a few seconds. They just look at each other, faces open and unable to hide behind anything. Nico looks so young like this, worried and sad, hair fluffy from sleep and eyes puffy from crying.

Levi is sure he doesn’t look that much better, with his obvious dark bags under his eyes, lower lip bitten raw, and his wet hair dripping on his shirt.

“Good morning,” Nico is the first to speak. “I think an apology is due.”

Levi raises one eyebrow, but then sets his cereal down and nods for Nico to continue.

“Okay, right,” Nico sits up straighter. “I truly am sorry. I never should have spoken to you like that. I was angry at myself and you were being too nice for me to be able to accept it. It’s none of your fault, I just didn’t know how to deal with myself. I’m so sorry.”

Levi lets him talk, focusing more on the way his face twists with regret and sadness than the words he’s saying. It’s nothing he doesn’t know already, anyway, but it’s nice to hear it coming from Nico himself.

“I would take it all back if I could,” Nico continues. “But all I can do right now is say how infinitely sorry I am.”

He opens and closes his mouth a few times, like he’s having a hard time thinking of something else to say, so Levi nods and catches his eye.

“I appreciate your honesty.”

Nico looks up, obviously not expecting Levi to say something. He waits for more to come, but Levi just tilts his head to the side and lazily bats his eyes.

“That’s it?” Nico asks, frowning.

Levi feels the tiny spark of annoyance at Nico’s tone, but he chooses to ignore it. Instead he just shrugs, breaking eye contact to glance at the flowers and remind himself what this is all about.

“I’ve never done this before,” Levi explains. “The fighting, the apologising. I don’t know what comes next.”

A small smile, so little that someone who hadn’t been as focused on Nico’s face as Levi is, would have missed it, stretches Nico’s lips. Levi feels like he can breathe a bit easier even just from that.

“It’s the first time for me, as well,” Nico looks down at his hands. “Not the fighting, but having someone react like you.”

“Like what?”

“Like the bigger picture is more important.”

Levi is taken aback by Nico’s answer. He stays quiet while he thinks about it, frowning and pulling on his fingers, ready to find the offensive or bad part in what Nico said, but there is none. He thinks it’s one of the biggest compliments he’s ever received.

“I do think it matters more,” Levi confirms. “But that doesn’t mean I don’t care about what you said.”

Nico’s face darkens immediately, and Levi could swear he sees his lower lip tremble before Nico bites down on it.

“I know,” Nico nods. “That was so bad of me. I didn’t know how to handle what I was feeling and I took it out on the only person who was trying to help me. I take full responsibility and all the fault for that. I’m sorry, Levi.”

“Do you think I’m a failure, though?” Levi shoots back quickly, almost before he can stop it.

Nico’s eyes widen and he instinctively reaches out to take one of Levi’s hands in his. Levi lets him, and even squeezes it to encourage him to continue. Nico shakes his head and rolls his eyes upwards in an attempt to keep the tears that are lining them in.

“You’re the furthest thing from a failure. I just- ugh, sorry,” he wipes his face with the back of his hand. “I was hurt and wanted to hurt you just as much, and I unfortunately knew how to do that. I am so, so sorry.”

Levi twines their fingers together, pulling their joined hands up to his lips to kiss the back of Nico’s.

“Okay,” Levi nods. “But maybe next time remember that I’m on your side.”

Nico lets out one sob and the tears he had been trying so hard to keep at bay finally make their way down his cheeks. Looking at him, Levi almost wants to follow along, but he settles for closing his eyes and sighing deeply, feeling the release of this moment.

They don’t let go of each other’s hands until Nico needs them to grab a tissue form the coffee table, and even then Levi feels like the whole thing is so unglamorous that they couldn’t possibly be closer. In fact, tears and snot in front of each other is as close as Levi has ever come to someone.

Eventually, Nico calms down and clears his throat, focusing on the vase of flowers still sitting innocently on the table. Levi wonders if they’re aware of how much meaning they hold in this moment.

“They’re really beautiful,” Nico comments, voice thick.

Levi smiles. “They are.”

“I, uh,” Nico chuckles, looking up at the ceiling. “I bought ice cream before I came home, yesterday. I, um, know you like it.”

Startling the both of them, Levi erupts into a loud laugh, throwing his head back and slapping one hand on his belly. Nico still looks like he fears that Levi is going to slap him any second, but he can’t hold a smile in.

“I do like it,” Levi stands up, still laughing, and shuffles over to the fridge.

He opens the freezer and there sits the tub of chocolate ice cream, Levi’s favourite brand and all. He takes two spoons out of the cutlery drawer and walks back to the couch, plopping down closer to Nico, and offering him one spoon with a smile.

Nico takes it with unsteady fingers, watching as Levi opens the tub and digs in first. Nico follows, then they just look at each other for a few seconds.

“To mature conversations,” Levi raises his spoon in a makeshift toast.

Nico laughs wetly, but still complies. They bump their spoons together and stuff them in their respective mouths, letting the chocolate mend any wounds that might still be present.

“You don’t hate me?” Nico asks, shy and so uncharacteristic that it doesn’t sound real.

“No, I don’t hate you,” Levi says clearly. “There’s no point in torturing you more than you’re already doing yourself. You should forgive yourself for that, too, by the way.”

They both know what he’s referring to, but considering the look of absolute despair that crosses Nico’s face, Levi decides it’s not the moment to talk about it. He leans in and drops a sticky kiss on Nico’s cheek, lingering for a second too long and hoping it says everything he can’t.

It’s not the solution to any problem they might ever have, but it’s a start. The Earth has not fallen off its axis, the sun will still set tonight and then rise tomorrow. All things considered, they’re fine. They’ll be fine. They can eat as much ice cream as they want until they are.

Levi looks at Nico out of the corner of his eye, and revels in the swoop his heart does when he sees he chocolate smeared on his upper lip. Nico looks back and smiles, eyes finally clear of sad tears.

They’re going to have to deal with work and everything that comes with it at some point, but right now, sitting on the couch with his favourite person, eating his favourite food, Levi is sure they can do it all. And even if they can’t, they’ll try their best and it’ll be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I want to live in the delusion that everything is going to be great and amazing and wholesome until Grey’s inevitably shatters my every hope. I mean, maybe everything /will/ be great, but I have absolutely no trust in this show’s writers anymore, I’ve been burnt too many times lmao
> 
> I hope you enjoy my version of the facts. I based this on the belief that two mature people don’t scream in each other’s faces, don’t use mistakes against the other, and they’re willing to listen to the other person just as much as they listen to themselves. And I, as I have said many times, hate drama, so this couldn’t have gone any other way lol
> 
> If you liked this, let me know with a comment or hit me up on [Tumblr](https://shesbreathless.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
